“Irritable Bowel syndrome restricts my freedom and is getting worse.”
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A Reader writes: “My problem is ‘Irritable Bowel Syndrome’ and having to deal with unforeseen and emergency needs to evacuate anytime or anywhere. This problem has been threatening my activities for years, and I’ve tried a lot to lessen the inconvenience and be able to enjoy life, but…
“I practice Focusing quite regularly with partners and on my own and I do other methods as well. And of course my eating is under close surveillance, and I also try to get medical advice and supplements to alleviate the condition as much as possible.
“When I get into an embarrassing situation, I try to control myself, to breathe, to talk and/or listen to this part of my body. It is not getting any better and as I am getting older (I’m 66 now) my body is getting more and more sensitive. And of course this is restricting my freedom to travel or be spontaneous in where I go.
“I am grateful to my body for having serving me quite well and as far as I am conscious I tried to show it respect and to treat it well. In a word I try to practice ‘radical acceptance.’ Any Focusing suggestions will be very welcome.”
Dear Reader,
When something like this manifests physically, and you are already giving it all the care that medicine and alternative medicine can offer, there is a good possibility that something emotional is also going on.
Luckily I am staying with Barbara McGavin right now, and she is brilliant on this subject (and many others!). She reminded me this morning how she used a Focusing quality of awareness to allow her eczema to shift.
Eczema has a lot of similarities to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It manifests physically, it is an irritation or inflammation, its causes are mysterious, and even after you’ve tried everything, it may still be there. After Barbara had done the process I will tell you about, her eczema cleared up within a week, even though she had had it for over a year.
First, be Self-in-Presence. This includes acknowledging the parts of you that may be feeling worried about this condition getting worse, and that may have reactions to the restrictions on your travel and your life, and so on.
When you’re feeling really spacious, open, and accepting, bring a gentle awareness to the sensation of the condition itself. I’d advise letting go of all labels for now, including the label “Irritable Bowel
Syndrome.” Just bring awareness to “this,” as you feel it and sense it right now.
Here’s the crucial step, Barbara tells me: IT has an emotion. And you won’t be able to find out its emotion by asking it what its emotion is, because it’s not the kind of thing that can talk.
So not asking, but sensing… and this takes time. In this time you are not passively doing nothing. You are sensing for exactly what it feels like, and this is also crucial. Sensing it directly, physically, not pulling back or going away.
And being open to the possibility that IT might have its own emotion. You aren’t sensing for the name of the emotion, but for the quality of the emotion… which, in true Focusing style, may be hard to put into words. (And that’s OK. The important thing is to take as much time as you need to really get it exactly as it is. And you’ll know when you’ve got it, Barbara says, because it will shift.)
Grateful thanks to Barbara McGavin for help with this week’s Tip.
