I
spent the weekend watching six of my advanced students guide six
beginners through their first Focusing session. When I watch beginning
sessions, I'm especially impressed by the importance of contact in Focusing. Do you agree? Do you know what I mean? Read on…
The Power of Contact
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Often the difference between whether a Focusing process works, or not, is whether the Focuser has a certain quality of contact with his or her inner process.
Those
who get into this contact easily can find themselves taking it for
granted. Then when it is their turn to help someone else find Focusing,
they can be puzzled as to why it isn't "working." But contact is
key–nothing in Focusing goes well without it.
What do I mean by contact?
It's
contact when you sense that "something" is there–right now. You can
inwardly point to it. You might be able to put your hand on the place
in your body where you feel it. Or, if it's the kind of thing that
isn't so much in a body location, you should be able to inwardly point
to it with the words "here" or "there." There is something and it is some place.
It's
contact when you can begin trying to describe what is there, right now.
It may not be easy to describe–that would actually be good, if it's
not–but you are sensing it directly (it's there) so you are able to attempt to describe it.
These
descriptions are of how it feels, what it's like, now. (Sometimes we
hear beginners saying, "How it usually feels is…." That's a sign to
invite them to sense how it feels right now!)
And these are
descriptions, not interpretations or analyses. (Sometimes we hear
beginners saying something like, "It must be rejection." This is our
opportunity to say: "OK, and just notice the feel-quality of what it's
like right now.")
It's contact when the Focuser is able to check possible descriptions with the presently felt something inside. If they aren't in contact with it, they can't check!
Contact and checking makes it Focusing
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My
students and I watched six people have first sessions this past
weekend. They were all delightfully different from each other. One
student asked, "With so many differences, how do I know when someone is
Focusing?"
Contact is the answer!
If someone is in fresh immediate contact with something they are sensing, right now…
And they can describe it freshly…
And most of all, if they can bring that description back to it, and sense (not think, not guess!) if the description fits…
…then that is Focusing, and we can expect shifts to happen.
