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Focusing Tip #766 – When you don’t know what you’re feeling
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #766 – When you don’t know what you’re feeling… What if, because of trauma, you never learned how to tune in to your genuine feelings? Read on… Andrew writes: There was a lot of trauma as I was growing up. I realize I never learned how to know what I was feeling or how to actually deal with what my body was trying to tell me. What’s the best way to proceed? Dear Andrew: It’s so good that you have realized you…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #765 – Focusing with existential fear
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #765 – Focusing with existential fear What if you have a sense of dread about anything and everything? Read on… David writes: I have a client who feels he has the Sword of Damocles hanging above him… in other words, he feels that doom is always about to fall. Any tips for how I can help someone with Focusing on non-specific existential fear? Dear David: That sounds like an unpleasant way to feel, and I’m glad your client has you to help…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #764 – Sensing and Describing
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #764 – The practice of sensing and describing What if you think you are feeling something, but you aren’t sure… and you wonder if you are making it up? Read on… Sonia writes: Sometimes when I sense something in my body, I doubt if it is real or not. If I put my attention on it, I think I am creating something that isn’t really there. How can I trust what I am feeling? Dear Sonia: What I recommend is that you…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #763 – When passion and urgency for a cause can lead to burnout
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #763 – When passion and urgency for a cause can lead to burnout What if you’re so driven by working for a cause that you lose your sense of balance? Read on… Elinor writes: I often wonder how Focusing can help to work on such issues as environmental justice, inequalities in vaccinations, indigenous reconciliation, etc. Sometimes I feel my own sense of passion and urgency can get me out of balance and lead to burnout. How do we stay “fresh” on these…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in” Do you find yourself caught in thinking that other people are causing your problems? Read on… A Reader writes: Things were getting better, and now they’re getting worse again. That’s how it seems anyway. And I find myself continually thinking about the people who I blame for this situation, yelling at them in my mind. I’m getting more and more stressed. What can I do differently? Dear Reader: It’s tough when…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #761 – “Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry.”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #761 – “Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry.” If you’ve got a part that wants to over-indulge and another part criticizing you, what can you do? Read on… Agnes writes: Sometimes I get the impulse to eat even though I’m not hungry. When I spend time with the impulse, I get that it’s a part that’s resisting another part of me, the relentless perfectionist. These two parts keep setting each other off, and I’m caught in…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #760 – “Maybe being truly relaxed is too good to be true.”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #760 – “Maybe being truly relaxed is too good to be true.” When your stressful feelings don’t change, is it ever because change itself is scary? Read on… Maria writes: I’ve been Focusing for a while and I feel I’ve made progress with some of my inner questions. But I still feel a level of tension in my body. Part of me thinks I won’t be able to be free from this tension. It’s like that would be too good to be…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #759 – “If I can overcome my sadness, then I can feel calm”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #759 – “If I can overcome my sadness, then I can feel calm” What can we do with our natural sadness about being distant from those we love? Read on… Antonio writes: My adult son and daughter are in a very independent stage and do not have much communication with me. I feel they do not have enough empathy in relation not only to their parents but also to other people. My strategy has been to wait until they change (if they…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #758 – “My adult daughter offloads on me…”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #758 – “My adult daughter offloads on me…” What if you pick up on the other person’s mood and their stressful feelings stress you? Read on… Katelynn writes: My adult daughter offloads to me whenever she gets stressed! I notice whenever she gets like that I pick up on her mood and I come away from her feeling very stressed myself! Whenever she is happy and in good form I come away happy and in good form. It’s as if my mood…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #757 – Focusing when reactive or dissociated
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #757 – Focusing when reactive or dissociated Merging with parts, including parts that dissociate us from feelings, can be challenging. What can we do? Read on… Janine writes: I notice sometimes when I try to focus on my own, if I am too merged or in a reactive state, I have a hard time being Self-in-Presence. I notice myself drifting off into merging with the parts rather than being Self-in-Presence, especially when I’m feeling disassociated from my body. Do you have any…
Ann Weiser Cornell