- Healthy Boundaries5
- Inner Critic13
- Untangling® Musings7
- Inner Peace for Challenging Times24
- Tips899
- Blog955
- abandonment
- bargaining with parts
- block
- boundaries
- burnout
- challenges
- chronic illness
- compassion
- creativity
- current events
- depressed
- depression
- difficult feelings
- dreams
- eating
- exhaustion
- existential
- family
- fear
- Focusing alone
- forgiveness
- freedom
- goals
- grief
- health
- health challenges
- ifs
- impatience
- inner child
- inner peace
- inner relationship
- intimacy
- meditation
- panic attacks
- parents
- partnership
- possibilities
- procrastination
- rage
- regret
- self-acceptance
- self-care
- self-hate
- shame
- shock
- sleep
- stuck
- treasure maps
- wanting
- work
- October 2023
- September 2023
- August 2023
- July 2023
- June 2023
- May 2023
- April 2023
- March 2023
- February 2023
- January 2023
- December 2022
- November 2022
- October 2022
- September 2022
- August 2022
- July 2022
- June 2022
- May 2022
- April 2022
- March 2022
- February 2022
- January 2022
- December 2021
- November 2021
- October 2021
- September 2021
- August 2021
- July 2021
- June 2021
- May 2021
- April 2021
- March 2021
- February 2021
- January 2021
- December 2020
- November 2020
- October 2020
- September 2020
- August 2020
- July 2020
- June 2020
- May 2020
- April 2020
- March 2020
- February 2020
- January 2020
- December 2019
- November 2019
- October 2019
- September 2019
May 18 2010 – Tip #229
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“It’s too intense and I can’t be with it” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fanta writes: “About weaving Focusing into a conversation or helping a friend in distress, a question I have is when someone is feeling an intense emotion like terror. They are usually overwhelmed and often identified with it. So any hints on how to help a friend or even another Focuser when they say it is too intense and they can’t be with it…” Dear Fanta, These are two interesting questions that I would answer rather differently… because when you are with a Focusing partner who is feeling overwhelmed, at least…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 11 2010 – Tip #228
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I can’t believe how long I was in denial!” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Being “in denial” is one way we talk about a persistent closing off of awareness… when there is something true that we refuse to acknowledge. Sometimes what is not acknowledged is something that everyone can see. This is what is sometimes called “the elephant in the living room.” If no one talks about it, if we pretend it isn’t there–maybe we won’t ever have to deal with it. When I was growing up, my dad’s drinking problem was an example of this. No one talked about it, nor about Dad’s…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 4 2010 – Tip #227
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I brought up something the person was unaware of and she ignored me.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anne writes, “A Focusing partner of mine recently brought up the belief that ‘Focusing doesn’t help with a person’s blind-spots.’ I’ve found this to be true in that if I make a suggestion that a Focuser might want to look at something seemingly important that they seem unaware of, they ignore me or tell me that don’t want me to make suggestions anymore, so I stop, following the Focusing protocol. Do you have anything to say about how to use Focusing with ‘blind-spots’?” Dear Anne, Absolutely,…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 27 2010 – Tip #226
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“She left me feeling shut down – do you know of any better words?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Shelley writes: “I recently had a friend use the words ‘Can you just let go of your story?’ when I was sharing with her about my struggles with chronic fatigue and depression. Even though I know she was trying to say that maybe I am feeling too much like a victim and might need to examine issues of self-pity or being too identified with my pain, the words really bothered me, because having an invisible illness has been so hard, and very few people (except those…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 20 2010 – Tip #225
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“How can I weave a bit of Focusing into a conversation?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Joan writes: “Now that I know Focusing, I wonder if there is ever a way to use it in a social situation to help someone else. (I’m aware that I can use Focusing on myself if something comes up which makes me uncomfortable.) “Usually if someone is in some sort of pain, emotional or physical, I listen … I shower them with empathy … I might share similar experiences … and if they ask, I might share any intuitive hits, or offer to help. But, I’m wondering if…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #224: Going Slowly & Staying in Contact
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“Ever since the accident, I feel nausea whenever I get in my car.” Serena writes: “I recently had a car accident. When I drove in my car afterward, I felt pain in the neck and headache and nausea, which have been more or less continuing for about three weeks. I have been getting treatment to alleviate the tension and spasm in the neck and upper body, and there is improvement there. But the nausea is getting worse. “After experiencing a profound relaxation during a cranial sacral session, as I got back into the car the nausea and headache became stronger…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #223: Being There for Yourself However Long It Takes
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“My mother, to whom I was very close, committed suicide.” Lenka writes: “Three weeks ago, my mother, whom I was very close to, committed suicide. And in the last few weeks, I’ve been aware of such a complicated ‘tangle’ of parts — although, currently I am very much identified with all of them! There’s the physical pain, the emotional, the mental merry-go-round and of course then there’s the broken heart and spirit. I am very aware of a strong part of me that wants very much to go with her, the part that does not want to live life without…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 30 2010 – Tip #222
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“My problem is that I cannot do this work on my own.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kristin writes: “When I do Focusing work with my therapist it is a profound experience in which I feel physical and cognitive shifts. My problem is that I cannot do this work on my own. I have a severe block to the things in my life that actually make me feel good: exercise, writing, meditation etc. I realize that Focusing is a great way to deal with blocks, but what if you can’t even bring yourself to even start the process?” Dear Kristin, You are not alone!…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 23 2010 – Tip #221
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“What IS Focusing?”–and why is that question so hard to answer! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Focusing is a simple matter of holding a kind of open, non-judging attention to something which is directly experienced but not yet in words.” –from the introduction to The Focusing Student’s and Companion’s Manual by Ann Weiser Cornell and Barbara McGavin Something which is directly experienced but not yet in words? What is that? Well, that’s what we call a “felt sense,” and it’s really the heart of the matter. A “felt sense” is what a problem or a situation “feels like” when you pause and get a…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 16 2010 – Tip #220
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe qualities of a Tangle ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barbara McGavin and I are in the first day of our Treasure Maps to the Soul retreat. Let us take you with us for the beginning… We like to start by talking about the concept of a “Tangle.” That’s an area of your life where you feel stuck, confused, at odds with yourself, sometimes frustrated and even powerless… Do you have an area of life like that? Here are some of the qualities of a Tangle: · It is a highly complex situation. · There seems to be an inner struggle going on. ·…
Ann Weiser Cornell