Focusing Tip #746 – “Why do things change just because you give them attention?”
-Focusing Tip #746 – “Why do things change just because you give them attention?” Ever wonder why simple awareness can bring profound change? Read on… Annemarie writes: My therapist recommended your online course, Get Bigger Than What’s Bugging You, to me, and it was very insightful. Thank you for being the start of my healing process. There is one question that keeps lingering though. And maybe I just did not understand the nuance. But I could not understand why things change just because you…
Untangling® Musings: Parts that dig in their heels and Parts that are invisible
-What do you do when the kids refuse to clean their rooms? Just to start on the right foot here, we are referring to inner kids and metaphorical room cleaning. There’s something you need to do—or want to do—and it’s not happening. Could be cleaning or exercising or creating or having a certain difficult conversation. But however it shows…
Focusing Tip #745 – “I can’t seem to quiet my thoughts enough to sense what I deeply know.”
-Focusing Tip #745 – “I can’t seem to quiet my thoughts enough to sense what I deeply know. Does listening to your inner knowing get hijacked by your anxious thoughts? Read on… Eve writes: I’ve heard you say it’s possible to sense what I deeply know and be guided by that, but my thoughts are such a jumble. I can’t seem to quiet them enough to see through the murky water to what I deeply know. If I think I have heard what I…
Focusing Tip #744 – “What happens when there is no shift?”
-Focusing Tip #744 – “What happens when there is no shift?” What can we conclude if several Focusing sessions on the same issue don’t bring any change? Read on… Richard writes: What happens when there is no shift, just a temporary relaxing, even after several Focusing sessions on the same issue? Dear Richard: Such a good question… because we do expect Focusing to lead to real change, not just temporary relief. So when it doesn’t, we have a right to be curious about why…
Focusing Tip #742 – “My friend says he never gets felt senses.”
-Focusing Tip #742 – “My friend says he never gets felt senses.” What living at a fast pace might be preventing us from experiencing… Read on. A Reader writes: I have a friend who has been involved in Focusing for a while, as well as other awareness methods, but he says he never gets felt senses. I’m curious: Why would someone be unable to get felt senses? Dear Reader: We live in such a fast-paced, labeling/naming culture. If someone has a question, we’re supposed…
Focusing Tip #741 – “Oh that’s just a part, that’s not really me feeling that”
-Focusing Tip #741 – “Oh that’s just a part, that’s not really me feeling that.” Have you found that acknowledging your feelings leads to dismissing them or stopping them? Read on… Christina writes: Lately I’ve noticed a tendency in myself to be dismissive of some hard feelings, as in “I see you, and I know that is really hard,” but then: “Oh that’s just a part, that’s not really me feeling that.” For instance, I will start to feel sad and tears will come,…
Focusing Tip #740 – “The demo video shook me up, and I had trouble being present.”
-Focusing Tip #740 – “The demo video shook me up, and I had trouble being present.” What can you do when someone else’s process brings up feelings about your own life? Read on… Anita writes: I watched a video in a Focusing class of a person Focusing with her feelings of fear that she might get dementia as her mother did. The issue touched me very deeply and shook me up, as my mother passed away six years ago after dementia. I subsequently had…
Focusing Tip #739 – Focusing and Internal Family Systems…?
-Focusing Tip #739 – Focusing and Internal Family Systems…? Curious about what Focusing and Internal Family Systems alike and different? Read on… A Reader writes: I wanted to ask how you perceive and understand the difference(s) between Inner Relationship Focusing and Internal Family Systems? I’ve recently come across IFS again via a group I’m in. It feels similar to Focusing in many ways. Yet it seems to move faster into asking a lot of questions rather than quite so much checking back in with…
Untangling® Musings: Change and Transformation
-It’s January. We have been thinking about how things might be different this year–maybe you have too. There are so many changes already taking place in our outer world: a new president, a vaccine starting to roll out, the realities of Brexit are now something people have to live with. Many of these things will have impacts on…
Focusing Tip #738 – “I have to keep working in an unsafe situation.”
-Focusing Tip #738 – “I have to keep working in an unsafe situation.” What if your work is unsafe and you have to keep doing it, and you’re scared? Read on… A Reader writes: I’m really curious about what to do when you have to work in an unsafe situation and you need to continue to work there and it’s not going to get more safe for quite a while. I’m listening to inner parts about how unsafe they are feeling. It’s realistic that…
