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Focusing Tip #823 – Using Focusing skills with other people in relationship
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #823 – Using Focusing skills with other people in relationship Can Focusing skills be applied to how we treat other people? Read on… Stephanie writes: In my own Focusing, I will have a reaction to something, focus with it, become curious and learn more and allow my feelings to be heard; I think a similar process could benefit in relationships with others. So is this Focusing style of understanding something that can be applied to relationships with others as well as with…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #822 – “This part says I’m sure to fail”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #822 – “This part says I’m sure to fail” Is something in you telling you that you don’t have what it takes? Read on… Jackie writes: I’ve been wanting to study herbalism for most of my adult life. Now I’m 62 and have the money and the time to do it but “something in me” is telling me I can’t do it because I’ve done various courses before and given them up and this will be no different as it’s a pattern…
Ann Weiser CornellWhy Do I Say Yes to Everything? | Setting Healthy Boundaries
- by Ann Weiser CornellDownload the audio version (13.4 MB) of this post to listen along OR continue reading… Do you feel like you say Yes to everything, even when you’d rather say No? It was like my “yes” was on automatic. And that absolutely got me in trouble sometimes… especially in dating situations! Looking back, I feel like someone must have been watching over me, because I had some narrow escapes, and I sure wasn’t watching over myself! I want…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #821 – To the part that resists being thankful… you’re welcome too
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #821 – To the part that resists being thankful… you’re welcome too What if you don’t feel like being grateful on the day when everyone is supposed to feel grateful? Read on… Dear Readers: I love gratitude. When I nab a parking place right in front of the store I’m going to, I say “Thank you!” Who am I thanking? I’m not sure… but being grateful feels good, and prevents me from falling into a “So now what’s going to go wrong?”…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #820 – “I retreat into my head and distract myself”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #820 – “I retreat into my head and distract myself” When you try to slow down and listen to yourself, do you distract yourself instead? Read on… Devin writes: My issue with Focusing is that with trying to listen attentively, my first move is to retreat up into my head, and distract myself with mind movies. This is difficult to deal with because it’s not really a feeling, nor something I can accurately locate within myself, it’s an action. Dear Devin: Distracting…
Ann Weiser CornellSaying No is Also Saying Yes | Setting Healthy Boundaries
- by Ann Weiser CornellDo you ever have a hard time saying no? Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by too many pulls on your time? Do you worry that other people…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #819 – “Do I need training in Psychology?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #819 – “Do I need training in Psychology?” Is exchanging Focusing partnership the same as doing psychotherapy? Read on… Suzanna writes: I’m studying Psychology. My question is: to be a Focusing Companion for other people, do I need training in Psychology? When I focus on this issue, there is a great fear of being a fake as a therapist. Dear Suzanna: I greatly respect that you want to behave ethically, and not present yourself inaccurately to others. But you don’t have to…
Ann Weiser CornellUntangling® Musings: When your Parts try to be good
- by Ann Weiser CornellHello! It’s been awhile since we sent out an Untangling Newsletter. There’s been a good reason — we’ve been immersed in writing our book on Untangling. Now it’s almost done… so it’s time to re-start the Newsletter. Jenna asks: I’ve noticed that Parts can come to believe that they (and other Parts) need to be accepting, calm, and allowing,…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #818 – “Will I ever get to do the things I’ve dreamed of?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #818 – “Will I ever get to do the things I’ve dreamed of?” Are you tired of being patient with the parts that block your forward living? Read on… A Reader asked: I know I’m supposed to be calm, kind, and patient with the part of me that is blocked. The problem is, I feel like I’ve been doing that forever. I just want my life to get moving! Sometimes I despair that I’m never really going to do the things I’ve…
Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #817 – “When I check a word, who am I checking with?”
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing Tip #817 – “When I check a word, who am I checking with?” When you check with your body, what are you actually checking with? Read on… Several people asked: In Focusing class I am learning to describe what I’m feeling in my body without labeling or evaluating. After I find a description, like “tight,” the next step is to check the word “tight” to see if it fits. But I’m not sure who or what I am checking with. Do I ask…
Ann Weiser Cornell