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May 27 2008 #164
- by Ann Weiser CornellHow to Trust the Inner Voice ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few weeks ago I wrote about how my "inner sense of rightness" guided me to choose the color orange for my bedroom walls, even though that went counter to my pre-conceptions about myself. And two years later I still love the color of my walls. In response, Mar wrote: "My question is that inside of me I find opposed 'voices' at the same time. I could hear 'orange' and 'gray' at the same time, and fear and even more. For me it is not easy to find a clear sense or a…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 20 2008 #163
- by Ann Weiser CornellUsing Focusing in Psychotherapy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've just returned from the great Focusing International Conference in Quebec, and here are two questions I was asked there: "Do I need a certification in order to use Focusing with my psychotherapy clients?" and "How does one use Focusing with psychotherapy clients?" There is no need to have a certification in order to begin using Focusing with psychotherapy clients. In fact, we wish all psychotherapists would start using Focusing modalities with clients! Of course this will work better if you have (1) Focusing training for yourself, and (2) training and supervision in using Focusing…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 13 2008 #162
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Purpose of Focusing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I’ve often received this question: "What is Focusing really for? I know there are many benefits, but what is the ultimate purpose of Focusing?" As I sit here at the lovely Chateau Bromont, as hundreds of fellow Focusing devotees arrive in Quebec for the 20th International Focusing Conference, it’s a pleasure to reflect on the ultimate purpose of Focusing. Because it’s true, there are many benefits. I see that calm, clear-eyed glow on people’s faces, after Focusing. (And even more after a week of a Focusing retreat!) We get free from what had been burdening…
Ann Weiser CornellMay 6 2008 #161
- by Ann Weiser CornellFollowing up on last week’s Tip, Dana Ganihar wrote to give another example of saying we know something: "I was focusing, and the process was stuck. I knew I was not in Presence, but didn’t know what I was identified with. It’s like the knowing you forgot something but not knowing what it is. So I said: "I acknowledge I’m identified with something" and right away I felt heaviness in my chest, and a young girl appeared there, what a relief, now I could turn to her…and of course a very meaningful process happened." Focusing and Life Purpose ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Birrell…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 29 2008 #160
- by Ann Weiser CornellHow we "know" what we don’t know ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have a couple of great instances to help people get how Focusing lets you "know" what you don’t know yet. These are both from the writings of Eugene Gendlin. You may have heard these before but I invite you to hear them again, freshly. There is something mysterious going on here. Here’s the first one. Imagine that you’re packing for a trip. You have an uneasy feeling that you’re forgetting something specific, but you can’t think what it is. You go over your packing list, and perhaps you even remember one…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 22 2008 #159
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhat’s Mind Got to Do with It? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got an email that made me realize I wanted to say something about body and mind. This Weekly Tips reader writes: "Before I practiced Focusing, my mind would have never thought such a thing would be possible (change in the body). When I was told my body contains wisdom within, I was still doubtful. The fact that it is impossible for the mind to fully understand felt senses without Focusing proves that the chances of the mind to even realize their presence is slim." My reader is speaking as if her…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 15 2008 #158
- by Ann Weiser CornellWorking with Long-Standing Issues ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few weeks ago in one of my classes, Ellen F. expressed frustration. "For about a year and a half I’ve been Focusing three or four times a week, and seems like a lot more should have changed by now. All the stuck places still feel stuck. Seems like there’s big, complicated tangles that I’m not really making progress on untangling." So in today’s Tip I’d like to share what I offered to her at the time, and also share, with her permission, what has transpired in the two weeks since then. But first, here’s…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 8 2008 #157 – Working with Parts, Comparing Focusing to IFS
- by Ann Weiser CornellWorking with Parts, Comparing Focusing to IFS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sue writes: “I was very interested in your reference in a recent Weekly Focusing Tip to ‘guardian’ or ‘protector’ parts. Soon after I first started Focusing I came across a book by Richard Schwartz called Internal Family Systems Therapy. Schwartz’s method originated from his experiences working with bulimia clients. He noticed that not only did his clients refer routinely to internal parts, but that these parts had roles very similar to those observed in family interpersonal dynamics. “One of his ideas was that for the person to become whole, the ‘parts’ needed…
Ann Weiser CornellApril 1 2008 #156
- by Ann Weiser CornellA Message from Presence ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jane writes: "I’m wondering what language to use (or reflect) when something comes that feels as if it is a ‘message from Presence’ — something that seems to come from a deeper, more grounded place, and suggests a new insight, or appropriate next step, and often represents a reconciliation of opposing views (or wanted feelings) of two parts. Just to speak of it as coming from ‘a part’ seems to imply that it has the same ‘partial view’ that parts generally have, and just using ‘something is saying’ also doesn’t seem to give it the…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 25 2008 #155
- by Ann Weiser CornellMore About Getting Unblocked ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nina Joy writes: "When you answered Jack a couple of weeks ago, it brought up something I’m working on. There are parts, guests, currents in our beings that want movement and feel upset or pushing or belittling of the parts in us that don’t want to move. "And now we are becoming aware that we need this attitude in Presence of self-leadership or calm, assertive energy. You told our group about Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, as a model for Presence. When I watch Cesar with the dogs, he’s in charge all the time. I’m…
Ann Weiser Cornell