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October 14 2008 #176
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhat If the Felt Sense Won't Talk? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Diane asks, "If your felt sense doesn't want to express itself, and you know it's there… and maybe you're not sure if you want to give attention to it, or maybe you don't know how to give your attention to it… but it doesn't seem to want to respond… What do you do?" Dear Diane, What a great question! That happens more than we would think! Focusing is an inner relationship. It's not like a machine where you push a button and the answer pops out! And as with any relationship, we…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 7 2008 • Getting Unblocked #8
- by Ann Weiser CornellPositive Visualization vs. Being Open to Negative Parts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack asks, "I learned the value of positive visualization in athletics and have carried it over to the rest of my life. I also believe in positive affirmations as reminders of my accomplishments, skills, value, etc., (although not for their use as a gloss over reality). I am becoming interested but am still skeptical about The Law of Attraction and the Zero Point Field. I also believe in Focusing and being open and in presence to all my parts including negative ones. Are focusing and these other practices mutually exclusive?" Dear…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 30 2008 #175
- by Ann Weiser CornellGot Some Reading to Do? How Focusing Can Help ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm starting to teach (with Glenn Fleisch) a two-year program on Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy, and as part of that, we have given our students a reading list of books and articles on Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapy. Faced with this reading list, one of our students asked me if I had any suggestions about reading. Can Focusing help with reading? Yes, it can! –especially reading that is work or study-related. First, as with Focusing itself, it's best to pause and set aside some time. To be calm, and sit comfortably. Next, take some time…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 23 2008 • Getting Unblocked #7
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen the Wanting Part Has a Not-Wanting ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Anna asks: "What has been coming up for me is a part that is wanting and a part that is not wanting something – that's clear and familiar – but what about the part that is wanting having a 'not wanting' WITHIN it? And also, though less often, a part that is not-wanting having a 'wanting' WITHIN it? "What's going on here? Any suggestions?" Dear Anna, You're encountering a classic situation in action blocks. Yes, there is not-wanting within wanting! Let's take an example. Let's say you want to get back to…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 16 2008 #174
- by Ann Weiser CornellMore on Opposites and Focusing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Janice asks: "I thought I understood what a 'felt sense' was until the 'tip' question about opposites. Now, I am no longer sure whether what I've been calling a 'felt sense' may be just feelings. On any given issue I can sense in one part of me a something that says 'yes' and over in another corner something is feeling 'no'. Seems like opposites. Sometimes I even notice peacefulness exists with the same issue that brings up anger." Dear Janet, Sure, we can find "opposite" experiences inside us. And for some purposes, that may…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 9 2008 • Getting Unblocked #6
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"I had a shutdown." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our reader Barbara S. wrote in response to Ezine #4, where we wrote about times when everything is too much. Here's what she had to say: "A month or so ago I had a shutdown and it took several unsuccessful focusing attempts by myself to discover just what wanted me to look and listen. With a focusing partner it worked. I was really surprised at finding a long-resolved broken relationship needing attention again. I hate to cry, but did it anyway, and discovered something valuable. Where early focusings were about acceptance of life as it…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 2 2008 #173
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing with Bodywork and Chronic Patterns of Tension ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wayne asks: "My query is about using the Focusing protocol in bodywork. I am working mainly with footballers, so I need to tailor my vocabulary to suit their level of comprehension. It seems weird to them anyway. "I found that (for me anyway) they tended to build up too much resistance attempting to embrace the subtlety of 'felt sense'. I have been explaining to them that the chronic patterns of muscle tension that we build up over the years due to mental resistance, is blocking the free flow of rejuvenating energy…
Ann Weiser CornellAugust 26 2008 • Getting Unblocked #5
- by Ann Weiser CornellPossibility, Hope, and Empowerment–From One Little Word ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm here right now at the Focusing Institute Summer School, in Garrison, NY, giving a five-morning course in "Getting Unblocked." On the first morning, my group taught me something wonderful. I was inviting them to put their blocking situation into one of these forms, so we could work with it more easily. (Maybe you'd like to try it right now…) "I want to _______DO THE ACTION_____, but I don't." (Example: "I want to start painting again, but I don't." "I need to _______DO THE ACTION_____, but I don't." (Example: "I need to…
Ann Weiser CornellAugust 19 2008 #172
- by Ann Weiser CornellAre Reminders the Same as Suggestions? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Miho asks: "You seem like to have stopped using 'suggestion' and use 'reminder' instead. I wonder why. One thing I thought is that 'remind' or 'reminder' imply that something is already there, in the Focuser. So the listener tries to feel that or sense that and then offer a reminder, which you used to call a 'suggestion'. Is this thought partially right?" Dear Miho, Actually, I'm still using the word "suggestion," as well as the word "reminder," to refer to those gentle helping sentences that a Companion can offer to a Focuser. Sometimes…
Ann Weiser CornellAugust 12 2008 • Getting Unblocked #4
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen It All Just Seems Like Too Much ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed in the morning. Life just feels like a burden… at least, that's how it feels to something in you. Everything feels too hard to do–so basically, everything is blocked. That was the case for Pamela (name changed), who just couldn't get herself to do any of the chores and projects that were waiting for her attention. She felt a heavy weight in her chest whenever she thought of all that she needed to do. She distracted herself by playing computer games instead of…
Ann Weiser Cornell