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March 18 2008 #154
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing with Anxiety about Too Much to Do ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A reader writes: "Suppose a person is saying to herself/himself (from a place of anxiety), ‘I have to do this and this and this and this and this and I don’t know how I will get all of these things done! They all are high priority!!’ Could Focusing help him/her in some way?" Dear Reader, Yes, Focusing can help! But the trickiest part will be at the very beginning, moving into Presence with the anxious part that is feeling such urgency. This is very related to the Tip from last week…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 11 2008 #153
- by Ann Weiser CornellEmotions that are Hard to be in Presence With ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ruth writes: "I wonder if you have any insights into why some emotions, for example maybe anger, seem harder to come into Presence with. It’s like they have a sticky quality, pulling me to merge or identify with them." Dear Ruth, Actually, yes, I do have an insight on why some emotions and particularly anger are often hard to come into Presence with. It’s because emotions are in many ways the opposite of felt sensing, and for good reason. Gene Gendlin writes about this in his fascinating article, On Emotion…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 4 2008 #152
- by Ann Weiser CornellAn Action Block that Won’t Shift ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jack writes: "One topic that I have been Focusing on for the last seven or eight years hasn’t shown any progress. Put simply, I have to do Y which if done would result in long term peace and happiness but might result in short term discomfort. If not done, it would result in real problems down the road. But, at that moment when I decide to do Y, I feel a pull to do X which would result in short term peace and happiness but real problems down the road. There are obviously…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 26 2008 #151
- by Ann Weiser CornellUsing Focusing at a Planning Meeting ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I know many of you are interested in how to use Focusing in the midst of life, and I came across a wonderful example recently. John Murray of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, is involved in forest renewal and other ecologically aware activities. As such, he was invited to participate in a planning process for a "green" housing development project. In John’s own words: "As part of the process I was put in a group of eight people who were asked to very quickly identify some characteristics of the future building that we considered most important.…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 19 2008 #150
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhen Lots of Things Come at the Start ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sue writes: "I have a question for you, regarding Clearing a Space. I have read somewhere that there are some different opinions about if and when this is used to start a Focusing session. I generally use it, because I think it helps get the person in to listening mode. For a couple of people I helped focus, the peace and calm felt when their ‘space’ was cleared was a quite profound experience for them. It taught them experientially that they are much more than the sum of their problems. "My…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 12 2008 #149
- by Ann Weiser CornellCarole, who asked last week’s question about her whole body turning to stone, wrote in response and said I could share her response with you. (She had written her question some time ago, so we can see what has happened for her since.) "Thank you so much for your reply, Ann. It’s been one year that I am in therapy using Focusing as a major tool to heal my past. What you write in this article is so true for me! I do now feel much more safe with my therapist which allows me to be more present during the…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 5 2008 #148
- by Ann Weiser Cornell"My Whole Body Became Like Stone" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Carole writes: "As an incest survivor, I have began doing Focusing with a therapist in order to have more access to my body, since I have learned to survive mostly from the neck up. Last week during a session, I began experimenting a dissociative state, I was feeling my whole body becoming like stone, and I was feeling it less and less. My therapist says that my body has been automatically reacting this way when I was been abused in order to survive. My question is this: is it possible for my body…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 29 2008 #147
- by Ann Weiser CornellThe Wanted Feeling in Every Part ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Charles asks, "Could you write more about each part having a wanted feeling?" Dear Charles, I think you are quoting back to me something I said in the Weekly Tips a while ago, so it’s my fault if those words aren’t quite how I would say it now! I was talking about those times when we have "warring parts," like the part of me that wants to get more exercise and the other part that doesn’t do it. Or the part of me that looks at my long list of things to do…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 22 2008 #146
- by Ann Weiser CornellFeeling "Burdened, Guilty, and Ugly" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As a response to our Tip last week about traumatic memories, we heard from another reader, who writes: "Your reply that we don’t have enemies inside us that are trying to hurt us has been so helpful for me in Focusing. Recalling those words have been very liberating for me. "There are times when I get stuck and drawn into an internal conversation with someone who seems to have a life of their own inside me…in a negative way. I feel burdened, guilty, and ugly when I am going through these times and have…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 15 2008 #145
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing with Traumatic Memories ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A reader writes: "I wonder if Focusing can help me with traumatic memories? I’m referring to memories that, when I think about them, I get this gut-twisting feeling, my stress/arousal level skyrockets and I feel my heart pounding/squeezing. I’m wondering if there is some way of using Focusing to ‘deactivate’ those memories or would another modality be more appropriate?" Dear Reader, I know this can be a difficult situation, in that the coming of the memories and the physiological reactions can feel scary in themselves, as if the original trauma is happening all over again.…
Ann Weiser Cornell