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March 28 2006
- by Ann Weiser Cornell“I Can’t Believe I Lied to Myself for So Long” “I can’t believe I lied to myself for so long.” That’s what I found myself saying on that day in September 1994 when I admitted I had been using alcohol addictively. That was the worst of it: that I, who had prided myself on awareness, had been so unaware. In the intensive Focusing that Barbara McGavin and I did in the weeks after that discovery, we realized that this was a pattern that could be found over and over in life’s most difficult areas. A part or aspect of the…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 21 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWe ARE Creative Process The more I learn about the philosophy behind Focusing (the work of Eugene Gendlin), the more I understand that being alive and being creative are really the same thing. Living organic process is always creative. We can never know quite what the next step will be. No two leaves are alike, no two trees, no two people. This inexhaustible creativity is all around us, woven into us, all the time. We can tap into this creativity most directly by approaching the present moment freshly, holding lightly any concepts or labels about it, ready to find new…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 14 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellEmotions Repeat, but the Felt Sense is Always Fresh I received this question from a Focusing student: “In your experience, how does Focusing help with healing old emotional wounds? By contacting and being with the wound with Presence, does the wound lessen over time? I’ve heard some professionals state that the problem with Focusing is that you just keep meeting the same wound over and over and never heal the wound. I myself seriously doubt that our wounds can fully be healed….but maybe they can lessen.” Maybe I’m biased (in fact, I’m sure I’m biased!) but I suspect those “professionals”…
Ann Weiser CornellMarch 7 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellIt’s Not What You Think I thought the workers were coming over for a three-hour job, just to remove the fake brick from one wall of my bedroom. Instead, what they found behind that fake brick–mold, rot, and termite damage–led to weeks of work. I thought I’d sleep in my bedroom that night. Instead, I was on the air mattress in the session room for three weeks. When I sat down to do Focusing with my Focusing partner a few days after the revelation, I was congratulating myself for not being more upset. But there was something lurking in the…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 28 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWouldn’t it be great to be non-defensive, free of the fear of others’ criticism? Read on! The Opposite of Criticism “This is a terrible workshop!” In the old days, I would live in fear of hearing those words from a workshop participant. Now, because of many sessions of Focusing with inwardly critical parts of myself, my experience of outer criticism has transformed. I get it: all these people are doing is giving me feedback about their unmet needs! “Oh, there was something else you were hoping from this workshop! Please tell me more!” I learned from Marshall Rosenberg and his…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 21 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhy does the Focusing community emphasize Focusing with a partner? Isn’t it a good thing to Focus on one’s own? Read on! “I’d Rather Do It Alone” I can feel it. I’m an introvert too! I can feel the tug, the tendency, to go off by myself instead of dealing with another person. “Let’s pair up!” the workshop leader says, and a part of me would rather do anything else. So when we reach the end of the workshop, and I say to my students: “I really believe that for most people the best way to stay with Focusing is…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 14 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellOK, I give in! The air is full of love and romance today, and who am I to resist! Love, Romance, and Focusing “He loves me, he loves me not…” and the image of a lovestruck girl picking the petals from a daisy… This was me, often, in my adolescence. I was desperately interested in whether HE loved ME. But what I didn’t realize, and didn’t have any help in realizing, was that I really should be much more interested in whether I loved HIM. I smile as I think about time-traveling back to my younger self and sitting with…
Ann Weiser CornellFebruary 7 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhat can you do when your mind interferes with your Focusing? Read on… “My Mind is Keeping Me Away from My Body” Yesterday a student in one of my phone classes said to me, “Ann, what did you mean last week when you said there is no mind?” Obviously something happens that people call “the mind.” But does it help our Focusing to call some experiences “mind”? I think not… and I think the concept of “mind” itself isn’t helpful for Focusing. We need concepts. We need a way to talk and think about the world and situations we are…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 31 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellDid you think you had to change your feelings in order to feel better or get on with life? On the contrary! Read on… “I Wish I Didn’t Feel So Anxious” When a crisis comes, we need a clear head. When life gives us lemons, as the saying goes, we want to make lemonade. But instead we may be fearful, anxious, upset, angry, bitter… and at the same time knowing that those emotional reactions get in the way of the wise choices we need to make to respond to the crisis. Whether it’s from a sudden lost job, a medical…
Ann Weiser CornellJanuary 24 2006
- by Ann Weiser CornellCan you trust what you feel? Read on…. Does the Right Choice Feel Better? I’m always interested in Focusing and decisions, since Focusing has been a strong ally for me in so many transitions in my life. In 1977 I left the good job I’d been trained for, as an assistant professor in linguistics, and went to… nothing! I had no new job, no specific plans… just a persistent feeling that I was in the wrong place. That turned out to be one of the best moves of my life. You might think that our bodies help us make decisions…
Ann Weiser Cornell