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November 8 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing is different from our usual way of being because it is a pause, a slowing down, and a sensing from a more wholistic perspective. Slowing Down While Focusing One tip that will make all your Focusing go better is this one: Slow down. Slowing down helps you sense into your body, into your being at this moment. (And, in a delightful synergy, sensing into your body also helps you slow down!) If you say to yourself “I’m taking time to…” that’s a great reminder to take time. For example: “I’m taking time to sense into my body.” “I’m taking…
Ann Weiser CornellNovember 1 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing let’s us experience strong emotions in a different way, from a larger perspective, not being caught up in our feelings but being WITH them. What a difference! I Am Not My Feelings I remember when my brother Mark told me that he had been diagnosed with late-stage, untreatable stomach cancer. I felt so full of sorrow for him, his daughters, our mother… I could hardly stand how much feeling there was in me. Mark was calmer than I was! I called up one of my closest friends Jane, also a Focusing teacher. Her warm, listening voice, just saying back…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 25 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing offers a fresh way of approaching all the issues in our lives, not mired in the familiar stuck process, but sensing how it is NOW… and letting ourselves be surprised! It’s Not What You Think Julie came to the second day of a Focusing workshop and told us an exciting story. That morning, she had felt grumpy and irritated, thinking about all the things her husband wasn’t doing “right.” In the shower she realized she was stuck in an old routine — and she decided to do some Focusing. She acknowledged what she was feeling and asked her body…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 18 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFuture Weekly Tips could answer YOUR burning questions about Focusing! Just reply to this email and let me know what you’re wondering… An Inner Relationship Our experienced world is relational. No one is alone. “No man is an island,” the poet John Donne wrote. We live immersed in language and action, and our inter-relationships with others permeate our lives. Yet we are also capable of an inner relationship that enhances and improves those outer relationships. The inner relationship is a deep listening to what we feel, how we are, what we (and various parts of us) need and want. My…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 11 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing opens up a vibrantly rich dimension of possibility, beyond either/or, beyond stuck, moving into a world of creative originality that is our birthright. Creative Originality Every moment of your life, it is possible to know and cherish your absolute uniqueness. Or it is possible to be in a rut, a cog in a machine, an interchangeable part. We are not machines! Yet the “linear model” encoded in our language and worldview tempts us to see ourselves that way. We have the emotions that “anyone” would have (“Of course I was angry! Wouldn’t you be?”) and we feel ourselves in…
Ann Weiser CornellOctober 4 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing gets you in touch with what is real and true, and you discover that the facts are friendly! Know Thyself Last week I visited the astonishing ancient site of Delphi, in Greece. In reading about it, I learned that Socrates’ famous phrase–“Know thyself”–came from the oracle at Delphi. As I look back over 33 years with Focusing, I feel one of the greatest gifts of “Living a Focusing Life” is knowing myself. But that isn’t just a “head” knowing. It isn’t an analytical knowing. It’s a deep sense of contact, of being “with” myself, being “in” who I am.…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 27 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing is helpful for all kinds of issues, all kinds of people. As we mentioned last week, Focusing helps both if you’re feeling “too much,” and if you’re feeling “too little.” Feeling “Too Little” When I first tried to learn Focusing, I didn’t know how I felt. I didn’t have access to my own wants, needs, emotions. It was easier for me to tell how someone else was feeling than to know that about myself. Focusing was a revelation for me. For the first time that I could remember, I began to know how I felt. Yes, I really hadn’t…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 20 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellFocusing is helpful for all kinds of issues, all kinds of people. For example, Focusing helps both if you’re feeling “too much,” and if you’re feeling “too little.” Feeling “Too Much” I put the words “too much” in quotation marks, because of course in Focusing we are accepting of all inner experiences, including strong feelings. But Focusing is uniquely helpful when feelings are strong, because we learn about a “third way” to be with feelings. When I was growing up in the Midwest, we learned only two ways to be with feelings. (1) If possible, don’t feel anything! At least…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 13 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellWhat is different about Focusing? Allowing a felt sense to form is already a relief to the problem! What Brings Relief and Release How is it that allowing a felt sense to form is already a relief to the problem? Why do we see a Focusing person smile and relax when finding an exactly-right name for what they feel, even when it is something awful? Try it yourself: a felt sense is a body sense of “all that,” the whole issue or situation you’re dealing with. You’ll need to pause, take time, and sense inwardly, in order to let this…
Ann Weiser CornellSeptember 6 2005
- by Ann Weiser CornellLiving a Focusing life means getting closer and closer to knowing how you feel and what you want at each moment. Tips for Focusing Alone Remember that Focusing alone (also known as Solo Focusing) is something you can do formally, as in sitting down and saying “I am doing Focusing now”–or you can do Focusing informally, in little mini-moments throughout the day. The more you practice Focusing, the more you will be able to have it with you when you need it, in a phone call, a meeting, or a difficult relationship discussion. You’ll be able to say, “I need…
Ann Weiser Cornell